Last week I was really discouraged. There were many reasons for that. The biggest was probably that I am a woman and it was that time when I'm about to have my 'womanly' time. That looks stupid. Okay, so I'm was a few days away from starting. For some reason, I didn't realize it, or maybe, subconciencely (how do you spell that?), I didn't want to acknowledge that my God given ability to bear children was the source of my poutiness. I don't know really but whatever the reason I had the funk. And I was mad at everybody. My husband the most, bless him. He has learned over the years though. He used to say 'aren't you about to start' and that made me REALLY mad and then I'd be in denial for a few days until I did actually start. He knows me so well that he just keeps his thoughts to himself and we are all better for it. Why can't we admit why we feel so bad, or even think it could be the problem? We women are weird sometimes. I will admit that.
So the other reason I was down was that I felt like I never can get ahead. On top of that, I feel like I don't have any real goals. This whole business of bags started as a way to bring in some extra funds to do the extras. Stuff for the kids mainly but also for me just to play with. Now its still that, but more and I'm not sure where exactly I want to go from here. I know I should have a goal but I'm really indecisive and making small decisions are difficult. Ask my husband... no don't. So this week, I've decided to make some goals. I bought myself a planner and some new fabric as well. I have made one major decision. I've cut out offering custom orders online. It really stresses me out and in the long run, I will survive without them. I've given myself until this next Monday to put my goals down on paper and hopefully I'll share them with you and get some input. So that's where I'm at.